i miss you..

I know I'm not supposed to but I do, I miss you. There is no other way around it. I like to think that I have moved on with my life and that I am happy, I really am happy with the people who are now in my life as well as my new boyfriend if you can call him that. Its just sometimes when I get down all I want is you but unfortunately I can't have you. We tried to do the friend thing but it just didnt work, so it is what it is and thats all there is to it.
Just miss you.

realisation..

Yesterday I realised, that I have been replaced. I am no longer the one you turn to. It hurt, I won't lie. It was hard to see that you had officially moved on. I mean yes I already knew that you had a new girlfriend and I also know that there is just simply too much that has happened for us to be well anything. But it was hard for me to realise that I was no longer the girl you turned to. I was no longer the one who was apart of your family. You have moved on.
I have moved on also but not to the extent you have.

After yesterday I realised I haven't completely let go. I don't really know what else there is for me to do. I don't really know what else there is to let go of. I guess its just time, that should fix everything. It is what it is.

Time waits for no one.

New love

When you stole my heart from me, I did get a lil scared. I wasn't sure if I was ready to trust you enough to not hurt me. But I decided to take a chance and honestly I couldn't be happier. I see the world in a new way, in a way i never have before. I can honestly say I am happy, in a way I never really thought possible and I have you to thank for that.
You are one amazing person, the way you make me feel, it is just undesirable.

You understand me in a way no one else ever has, it is a lil scary but also so amazing. I never thought it was possible to find someone that completely gets me. I do believe we are soul mates babe. It just makes so much sense. There was a reason I never forgot you, and I think we both can see what that reason is now.

You are my world, my heart, my life, my everything. You have my heart forever babe, I'd tell you to look after it but I already know you will.

I miss you....

I will admit that YES, I do miss you. Some days more than others, and yes sometimes I wish I could just be with you, just chill out like we used to, talk and complain about our days. I miss the fact that you knew me so well and that you knew how to make me smile, no matter what mood I was in. I miss the cute voice you'd put on, or the stupid looks you would give me. Especially when you attempted to raise you eyebrow but never fully got there. I miss US, the way we would bounce off each others stupid yet funny remarks. I miss the way you hug me, and made me feel like everything was going to be alright. Its pretty simple. I just miss you.

BUT it'll never be enough at least I hope it wont....

One life, one opportunity

If I have learnt anything over the past six months it is to trust your instincts, be true to yourself and more importantly be happy. At the end of the day, you can't go through life worry about other peoples feelings, or the consequences you may face if you do something that is out of character for you. Life is an experience, a journey, and your life is what YOU make it. So live it, do whatever you want, who cares what people think, its a learning experience. If you sat around wondering forever then you wouldn't experience life and it would just pass you by so quickly. Time waits for no one, make the most of now. Don't wait for tomorrow.

I honestly think this is the single most valuable lesson you will learn it your life, I am just lucky I learnt it early on.

Confession.

I think I may be, possibly falling for you. And it scares the absolute shit out of me. I question myself, my own feelings because how can I trust them, after everything that happened. What happens if I actually do fall crazy in love with you. What happens if you fall head over heals for me..? will this actually work? too many thoughts, too many questions. Maybe I need to just let it all play out.

and what if....

I may be a little insecure and get jealous at times, I may worry about being showing you who I really am in case you don't like me, but it will never stop me from showing you who I am. I often wonder what you think of me when I speak before I think or when I manage to injure myself by simply standing still. I worry you might think I'm too stubborn, or too much of a thinker. I question myself if I'm asking you too many questions, because I don't want to scare you away but I just like to really know the answer, I like to have a full understanding of the situation. It scares me a little bit or maybe a lot that I can be so open and honest with you. It absolutely terrifies me that I am letting my walls down around you. And I find myself asking, what if I fall for you...?